Shoot The Runner
by Now.Get.This
Summary: How many times have I been shot at? Oh too many to count. I used to leave the wounds open, you know, pretend they weren’t there. But now I’m taking the time to fix all and I can start my life again.
1. Chapter 1

_**Shoot The Runner.**  
How many times have I been shot at? Oh too many to count. I used to leave the wounds open, you know, pretend they weren't there. But now I'm taking the time to fix all and I can start my life again._

**_Problem #1: Evie._**  
Evie is seventeen. The same age as me. She is my first problem. I could've stopped her from being a problem, I guess. But what can I do? Evie is the prettiest girl I've ever seen, she has dark brown hair and eyes to match. She has this light tanned skin and man has she got a great body! I asked her out when I was 15 and we've been dating ever since. Well, until about two months ago. Now she turns away every time I walk past her. But I know she secretly watches me walk by.  
Why is she a problem anyway? It's funny. The two of us went to a party about two months ago. Everything was going well, she looked hot and we were dancing and drinking. Until I had to go outside to take a break. Ricky and Joe two of my best friends were already outside, smoking. The three of us were laughing and playing around until Lisa came outside. This is where the problem started. You see, Joe and Ricky went back inside while I stayed outside talking to Lisa. She was a good friend of mine, nothing more. Oh sure she was sitting pretty close to me and I had my arm around her, but that doesn't mean anything does it? Anyway, Evie came storming outside, pretty angry. Ricky had told her that I was outside, cheating on her with Lisa. This isn't true. But to this day she still won't listen to me. I really think she wants me back; she's just too embarrassed to admit she's wrong. But now she dates other guys.  
So I have to deal with her watching me go by and not saying a thing.

**_Problem #2: Sodapop._**  
Sodapop is seventeen. The same age as me. He is my second problem. I could've stopped him from being a problem, I guess. But what can I do? Sodapop and I used to be best friends. I met him when we were nine, at school one day. It's your basic I-was-sitting-alone-and-Sodapop-sat-next-to-me-at-lunch type story. But the two of us were inseparable. We did everything together. Played football after school, gave the other guys girl cooties, and got sent out of class together. Well, we didn't start getting sent out of class until we were about fifteen. And this is where the problem starts.  
It happened two years ago; the two of us were in English. I'm not a big fan of school, either is Sodapop. Anyway the two of us were sitting in the back row with Sodapop's other best friend Steve. I didn't get along with Steve. But we were nice to each other because we both liked Sodapop. So the three of us were sitting there, bored shitless. As the teacher read aloud from her textbook at the front of the room, I felt it would be fun to make paper airplanes with 'rude words' written on the sides of them. And then throw them at all the girls. Of course one of us had to throw one at Gloria, a Soc. _The_ Soc actually. Gloria is the popular girl everyone wants to be friends with. Anyway, she gave the paper plane to the teacher, who sent the three of us to the principal's office. Sure we could've denied it was us but I really hate English. So off we went to the principal where the three of us got three days suspension. Awesome, three day vacation! We organized to meet at the corner store the next morning. But only Steve turned up the next day. And he came babbling about some story of Sodapop's parents being disappointed in him and he isn't allowed to talk to me anymore.  
So I have to deal with Sodapop completely ignoring me and Steve giving me dirty looks every time I go by.

**_Problem #3: School._**  
School is horrible. I absolutely hate it. It's my third problem. I could've stopped it from being a problem, I guess. But what can I do? I didn't mind school. I used to like going so I could see Sodapop and my other friends. But once he wasn't able to talk to me I didn't see any use in going. I wasn't learning anything. I used to try and make excuses as to why I couldn't go. But my mother wouldn't take any of it. You are to go to school and that's that, she used to say. So after Evie left and I wasn't allowed to see Sodapop I started getting into other things. Things that were better than going to school. You know, drinking, parties and drugs, sometimes.  
It started two years ago a few weeks after Sodapop, Steve and I got suspended. I was in Math class and really didn't wanna do my work that day. I wasn't going to go to school at first but my mother ever so kindly gave me a ride to school. So I was sitting in Math class and I was called on to answer a question. I had a car magazine tucked into my textbook so of course I had no idea what was going on. I told the teacher I didn't know the answer, and that was when it started. The two of us argued for maybe ten minutes before he finally sent me off to the principal. I grabbed my books and stormed out of there. That teacher was trying to make me look like an idiot, I told the principal. But he wouldn't listen; of course he wasn't on my side. I got suspended again and was told if I was suspended again any time soon then I could be expelled. Fine by me. After I got back from suspension I tried everything to get expelled. But instead ended up staying for an after school detention everyday. I only really tried for a week. Until I gave up. I wasn't learning anything, I lost my friends that week and I was bored. So why not leave?  
So I have to deal with being a loner because no one would listen.

**_Problem #4: Joe and Ricky.  
_**Ricky and Joe are seventeen. The same age as me. They are my fourth problem. I could've stopped them from being a problem, I guess. But what can I do? Ricky and Joe used to be my best friends, along with Sodapop. They didn't like Sodapop all that much. But they didn't mind hanging around him. The problem with Ricky and Joe started one day about two weeks after I left school. My mother didn't mind me leaving school as long as I spent my days doing constructive things.  
I was waiting for them after school one day. I used to meet them sometimes since I had nothing better to do. So I was waiting by the car park when the last bell of the day went. It had been a few minutes when Ricky and Joe came up to me. I had taken my brother's car that day to pick them up. For no reason except we're too lazy to walk. So they hopped in and immediately saw my stash. They asked who's it was and I said some was mine and some was my friend Marks. They listened to what I said and didn't say anything else about it. So off we went driving along, fast of course. Going through red lights and screaming at people out the windows as we went by. Eventually I saw the lights flashing in the rearview mirror. The police wanted us to pull over. I looked to Ricky right away who was sitting in the passanger seat. He told me not to pull over but I knew the police guys wouldn't give up. So I pulled over and the officer got out and came over to us. I tried to hide my stash but he saw it and he took us down to the station. It all happened really fast. One second I was sitting in the car the next I was being pushed through the doors of the station. I claimed it was Ricky and Joe's. But they said it was mine. So they threw us into a cell while they called our parents. My brother came and got me right away, since he's eighteen. Ricky and Joe's parents let them stay there; at least they won't cause trouble. That's why Ricky and Joe haven't spoken to me since.  
So that's the reason I had to find new people to talk to and hang around with. You know, friends.

**_Problem #5: Jean.  
_**Jean is fifteen. Two years younger than me. She's my fifth problem. I could've stopped her from being a problem, I guess. But what can I do? Jean is my younger sister. I have an older brother too. We all lived with my mother. This problem with Jean started the day after I was hauled in by the cops. They had taken away my stash but Mark had given me some more. It was hidden in the back of my wardrobe. Anyway, my mother, Jean and I were having dinner when the phone rang. She went off to answer it and we two sat there quietly trying to hear what was being said. My mother came back in the room muttering things under her breath. Apparently my brother had been at a bar all day and was too drunk to find his way home. So off my mother went to pick him up.  
There we were. Sitting in silence while we ate. Not looking at each other or saying a word. 'I know what happened yesterday,' Jean said finally breaking the silence. I nodded. 'Great,' I said. I didn't care if she knew. Everyone probably knew by now. 'So are you just gonna spend your days doing drugs now? Sittin' around with Mark? You guys are dumbasses,' she muttered and giggled a little. I didn't mean to do it but since Mark was my only friend now I had to stand up for him. I leaned across the table and hit her across the head. 'Don't you ever say that again,' I yelled at her. She went off to her room, crying. I sat there alone at the table until my mother came home with my brother. She asked where Jean was and I said she was in her room. My mother went off to see her and came out smiling. Which was funny because I thought Jean would tell her what I did. So now I was getting stoned everyday and hitting Jean more and more. I couldn't help it. I wasn't myself when I was drinking and stuff. I had no control over what I did. Sometimes I wouldn't even remember doing it but when I woke up in the morning and Jean had a new bruise I would know it was me who did it. This continued for awhile. Well only three weeks really.  
So I had a pretty good life, no school, sittin' around all day and letting my anger out on my sister.

**_Problem # 6: Leaving.  
_**I left three weeks after everything started with me hitting Jean. Mark caught me hitting her once and the look on his face made me realize what I was doing. So the next day I packed up my things and moved in with Mark. He lived with his friends Scott and Donna. They lived in a little white cement house, just the three of them. Anyone was welcome to stay over whenever they wanted. As long as they were a greaser and didn't tell anyone what they did in the house. Yes, it was one of those houses where everyone went to do what they had to do and then leave. So anyway, I saw my brother sometimes out in the streets and at parties. We'd talk and laugh as if we were friends. We didn't talk about what I did or about Jean or mom. I don't think he told mom he saw me. But I didn't care. I was happy. I mean I was seventeen, living with friends, didn't go to school, went to parties every night. . . What more could you want?  
What more could I want? There were lots more I wanted. Like my girlfriend back, my best friend back, my sister to talk to me again. . . The list was endless.

* * *

_This morning I saw my brother.  
He told me my mother and sister wants me around again.  
At first I thought he was joking.  
But now I think I agree with them. _

_Ryan._


	2. Chapter 2

**_Shoot The Runner.  
_**_How many times have I been shot at? Oh too many to_ _count. I used to leave the wounds open, you know, pretend they weren't there. But now I'm taking the time to fix all and I can start my life again._

_  
This morning I saw my brother.  
He told me my mother and sister wants me around again.  
At first I thought he was joking.  
But now I think I agree with them._

_Ryan._

* * *

There was a loud bang and then a stream of 'swear words' coming from the kitchen. The 'swear words' told me it was Mark who was out in the kitchen. That was what woke me. I opened my eyes and stared across the room at the closed doors of the wardrobe. It was still early, I could tell by the shadows coming in through the window. I rolled onto my back and shut my eyes tight. I wanted to get back to sleep. I needed to sleep, I was tired. Last night I didn't get in until three. But as tired as I am I can't fall back asleep. Mark was still out there swearing and making as much noise. Well, it can't hurt to get up now can it? I sighed and rolled out of bed, grabbing my jeans and t-shirt that were on the dresser. I went to take a shower.

I was eating breakfast by myself at the small table in the kitchen. It was quiet for a change, as I thought about what to do that day. The only thing I really needed to do was go down to the corner store and pick up some cigarettes for Mark. Seeing as I had lost our little bet last night I owed them to him. I chewed slowly on my cereal, racking my brain for something else to do. Today is Friday, that meant there would be plenty of parties tonight. I loved Friday Night Parties. Everyone getting drunk and dancing. You never know what will happen. Even though I had something to do tonight, I wasn't going to sit around and waste my day. I had to find something to do.

"Hey!' Mark yelled coming in and slapping me on the back. Making me cough up the cereal I was about to swallow. It landed on a notebook that was on the table. It wasn't my notebook so I ignored it. I smiled at Mark's back and stood up; taking my bowl to the sink that was full of dirty dishes Mark had promised he would wash. "What ya doin' today?" he asked as he looked through the cupboards for something to eat. I shrugged, trying to balance the bowl on a pile of plates.

"Don't know. I'll find something to do," I said. We stood in silence for a moment before Mark went to the table picked up the notebook, examining the drying cereal.

"Gross, there's cereal stuck to this. Did you do this?" he asked, holding it up with a disgusted look on his face. I shook my head and looked away before I laughed. "Well, anyway if you don't find anything to do, here's something." he said, ripping a page out of the notebook. He shoved it into my hands as he came up and stood next to me at the sink. I stared down at it then looked back up at Mark as he flicked the cereal off the notebook into the sink.

"You want me to go grocery shopping?" I asked. He nodded as he sat down at the table with a now clean notebook and a box of biscuits from the cupboard. I rolled my eyes but stopped when I saw what was on the list. Chocolate bars, cigarettes, new lighter for Mark. Well I guess they wouldn't be too hard to get. And it would waste time until the parties that were on tonight. I put the list in my pocket and grabbed my wallet from the counter.

"Is Scott around?" Mark asked as I turned around to leave. I shrugged.

"Probably not. See ya later," I said as I walked outside, slamming the door shut behind me.

Scott and Mark each have a car. Not anything special but it gets us around. I can use either whenever I want which is fine by me. My brother didn't always let me use his car. I hopped in Mark's car and turned the key in the ignition. He always left the keys in the car, pretty stupid if you ask me. But Mark says 'It's good for a quick get away'. Quick get away from what? But I never asked him that. I pulled out of the driveway, knocking over a garbage can while doing so and drove off towards the supermarket.

Since it was Friday, a school day, there weren't many people about. A few kids sitting at the bus stop out the front of the supermarket and only a couple of people inside. As soon as I stepped inside the supermarket people looked and stared at me. As if I was up to no good. Which I wasn't. So I ignored them and went straight for the chocolate bars, grabbing the first box I saw. I decided I needed a treat, well not so much a treat as a six pack of beer. Something to liven up my day. I took the few things I had up to the register and got a lighter for Mark and few packs of cigarettes. Muttering a 'dirty' comment to the woman at the register I got out of there quickly. It was weird being in there.

As I was putting the groceries in the car I heard someone call my name. And I knew that voice all too well.

"Hey Two-Bit," I said as my brother came up to me, grinning. Two-Bit was only a year older than me but I was taller by a few centimeters. Two-Bit was the complete opposite to me. He liked school and was always cracking jokes. Me, I was 'dark and serious' as other people had put it. I'm not sure what 'dark' is supposed to mean but Mark agreed when I asked if I was 'dark'. Mind you, he had spent the day drinking when I asked. I'm not so serious either. Sure I wasn't always laughing and grinning but that's because I like to keep to myself. I like to keep my thoughts to myself and listen to what others have to say.

Two-Bit was alone and obviously not in school. This was unusual.

"Why aren't we at school?' I asked.

"It's Friday and quite nice weather too. So why bother going to school? I was headed for the pool hall, wanna come?" he asked. I said yes, I had found my something to do today. Spend time with my brother. Two-Bit and I got in Mark's car and I drove us home to drop off the 'groceries'. Then we were on our way to the pool hall. I didn't know many people that hung around the pool hall. It was funny though. Because the only way to get inside was to go through the alley and go in the back door. And the exit was the only exit, out onto the busy street known as The Ribbon. And it always amused me that people stared at you when you left the pool hall. They stared because no one ever went in but people were always coming out. See, I'm not so serious after all.

For once my brother had nothing to say and we were silent as I parked the car out the front of the pool hall. As I was about to open the car door to get out I noticed someone, well two people actually. Guy and girl, standing a few feet away from the car. And man, that girl was looking good today. I was about to call something out to her as I got out of the car until they turned around. It was Evie. She stared at me with the same look she gave me whenever I went by. The look said 'I'm getting on fine without you. I've got a new boyfriend.' And that new boyfriend is Steve. Yeah, that Steve. Sodapop's best friend. The two of them stared at me a moment before they turned back around and left. I sighed; I knew Evie wasn't over me. I knew she didn't like Steve. Or maybe she did and I'm just making excuses. I slammed the car door shut and followed Two-Bit around the corner and down the alley.

"I didn't know they were together," I said as we walked.

"Who?" Two-Bit asked, kicking at an empty can.

"Steve and Evie," I muttered. Two-Bit chuckled as he opened the door to the pool hall, letting me inside first.

"Yeah, only for 'bout a week though," he said as we walked to the bar to sit down.

"Really?" I asked, hoping that they were just friends. You know, friends with benefits, that kind of thing.

"Nah, longer than that," he said. He stopped walking for a moment and thought before he sat down beside me at the bar. "Yeah it's been about two months." He said and called out to the bartender. I shrugged, I didn't care what Evie did. But the more I thought about the two of them together, I knew I cared. I wanted Evie back. I bet Steve doesn't like her. He's just dating her to make me angry. There I go again, making excuses.

"Want a drink?" Two-Bit asked punching my shoulder lightly.

"Nah," I said, putting my head in my hands. I wasn't in a very good mood now. How was I supposed to get Evie back and be friends with Soda again, if Steve was in the way? Wait! I've got the perfect solution. Two-Bit was friends with Steve, so he can y' know tie him up or something and take him out of town for a while until I figure everything out. I grinned at the thought and soon realized Two-Bit was giving me a weird look. I wiped the grin off my face, that wouldn't work anyway. Two-Bit wouldn't do that.

I was still thinking about this when this guy came up and asked if we wanted to play pool. I didn't feel like it but Two-Bit was up for it. He followed the other guy over to the closest pool table and they began their game. I looked over at the door as someone came in. That someone being Steve. I bit down on my lip so I wouldn't say anything. He came over to me and sat beside me. I didn't acknowledge him and hoped he would leave. But he didn't. Sure, this isn't exactly where I wanted to be, next to Steve I mean. I still didn't move though. But it reminded me of those old movies. Where there's a guy sitting at a bar, then he gets into a fuss with someone else and they start a huge fight. I had some anger I needed to get rid of so a fight wouldn't be a bad thing right now. Right now I wouldn't mind giving Steve a good punch in the face. I can just picture it. . .

"Hey Ryan, why aren't ya saying anything. I've been sitting here for five minutes," Steve said and I rolled my eyes.

"Alright I'll say something," I said, looking at him. He nodded.

"Go ahead," he had an evil look in his eye as if he wanted me to say something about him and Evie. But I wasn't even thinking about that anymore. I cleared my throat pretending I was about to make a big speech.

"Fuck off," I turned back to stare at the shelves of alcohol behind the bar. Steve sat not saying anything for a minute.

"What's wrong?" he asked, throwing his arm over my shoulder. I moved my body quickly to face him, throwing his arm off my shoulders. "Seen Evie lately?" he asked and chuckled.

"Nope," I said, no emotion in my voice. But Steve was still getting a kick out of talking to me.

"I have," he said. That was when I couldn't take it anymore. I wanted to punch him. No, I had to.

"What the fuck's your problem?" I asked loudly. He looked at me.

"Nothing I'm just being polite."

"C' mon Steve. What's your problem? Or you too scared to tell me?" I asked. He didn't even have to say another thing. Before I realized what I was doing, I had punched him in the face. And man did it feel good. I stared at him where he had fallen to the ground. Now, people were standing around watching us. But I didn't care who saw me, I wanted to kill Steve. He got back up after a few moments of lying there. He took a swing at me and got me in the side of the head. I grabbed onto the bar and didn't fall but my head was already throbbing. I got up off the stool and kicked him hard in the leg and going for another punch in the head.

"Get out!" I looked over at the bartender who was standing there watching us, an annoyed expression on his face. I don't know how long he'd been watching but he'd only decided now that he wanted us out. "I know you're underage," he said to us. I was turning to leave when I felt a huge blow to my face. Instantly I put my hand to my nose where I could already feel the warm blood falling down my chin. I wiped it on my hand and headed for the exit. Even the strange looks I got from people when I left couldn't change my mood.

I walked along the street when Two-Bit called my name. I walked slowly, waiting on him to catch up, my nose still bleeding.

"Look I have to tell ya something. Uh, mom and Jean want you to come over tonight. Y'know if you can. Just thought I'd tell you. I'll see you later," he said rather quickly and ran off. Yeah right, I thought, there's no way I'm doing that.

I got to the car and got in. My nose bleed slowly stopped, luckily. I was getting blood everywhere. As I drove back home I saw Scott walking along on the sidewalk. So I pulled over and he got in.

"What happened to you?" he asked, looking at the dried blood on my chin and lips.

"Got in a fight," I said, pulling out onto the street properly and driving off.

"With who?"

"Steve," I told him. He nodded slowly. We were silent.

"I'm so sick of this greaser/Soc thing," I said. And then I realized what I had actually said. I didn't mean to say it out loud. I held my breath and waited for Scott to respond.

"Me too. You know what? I'm gonna get out of here. For only a few days. Give me time to think about what I'm gonna do with my life," he said. I stopped at a red light and looked at him. But he didn't dare look back at me. I'd never heard anyone say that before.

"You never told me that before," I said.

"Yeah well, I thought you'd give me shit about it," he said. The lights turned green and I drove on. After a minute or two Scott spoke up again.

"I'm gonna move out of the house. Maybe you should do that too. I mean, there's too much crap that goes on there," he paused for a moment before telling me the last part. "I wanna change my life," he said. I took a second to register what he'd said. This was all new. Scott seemed to love fighting and all that. I never would have thought he'd say something like this.

But I thought about what he said. If I got a job and moved back home maybe I could change my life. Maybe I could even go to college. Get a real job and I'd never have to worry about this shit again. I've been a part of this greaser/Soc thing since I was twelve. But ever since I moved in with Mark and Scott it's gotten worse. I've gotten into heaps of fights. My life's gotten worse. I thought moving out would make my life better. But it didn't.

As I pulled into the drive way I decided on one thing. I'm going to bring back everything I've cut out of my life. I'm gonna make something of myself. I don't know what brought on this thought. But I'm pretty sure it's the right thing to do. And now I know what I'm doing tomorow night. . .


	3. Chapter 3

_**Shoot The Runner.  
**How many times have I been shot at? Oh too many to count. I used to leave the wounds open, you know, pretend they weren't there. But now I'm taking the time to fix all and I can start my life again._

_November 16, 2007 - Saturday  
My head's throbbing,  
I can't eat,  
I've slept all day but now I'm awake.  
Now it's time to do what I have to do._

_Ryan._

* * *

That was how I woke up Saturday afternoon. A throbbing headache, I couldn't eat or drink. I did nothing but sleep. Man that was good. Not having to do a thing but lie there and not worry about a thing. I was still tired when I got up at five-thirty, but it's something I have to do. I remembered yesterday as I grabbed my clothes and headed towards the bathroom. Two-Bit telling me Jean and mom want to see me. That's where I was going today. I was going to ask if maybe I could move back home. After what Scott told me yesterday in the car, I thought moving back home to be the best thing for me right now.

I had a quick shower and then pulled on my jeans and a white t-shirt. My stomach rumbled, I hadn't eaten since about three o' clock yesterday and I was starving. Yet I couldn't eat anything as I sat at the kitchen table. Donna, Marie, Scott and Daniel were all sittin' with me, but they were playing poker. I had a plate of their left-over pizza in front of me but it stayed un-touched. No one knew I was going to see Jean and my mom. They thought I was going downtown or somethin'. So when it was six o' clock I decided it time to leave. I threw the pizza in the bin on my way out, grabbed my jacket and Scott's car keys.

"I'm takin' your car Scott!" I yelled to him as I went out the front door. I didn't wait to hear his reply. Besides, he said I could use his car _whenever_ I wanted to. I hopped into the car and pulled out of the drive way. No one knew I was coming tonight. But I think a surprise would be better than them knowing I was coming. If they knew I was going to come they might purposely leave the house or something. Because the more I thought about that little conversation with Two-Bit, the more I think it was just his way of saying 'We should spend more time together.' Either way, it will be good for me start talking to my family again.

I took my time getting there. I didn't want to interrupt them while they were eating, they might turn me away. I was nervous the whole way there, trying to convince myself that I was dropping by to borrow Two-Bit's blade. But then another part of me said 'He wouldn't let you borrow that blade'. Then I tried coming up with a reason he would let me borrow it. Soon, I was confused in all these thoughts and I came back to reality when I ran a red light and almost hit someone. But not even that could get my mind off the fact that I was going to see my mom and Jean. I didn't park out front of the house but a few houses away. Maybe they'll see me and hide, I thought. No they wouldn't do that, because they really do want to see me. Again, I took my time walking to the front door. And before I knocked I took a few deep breaths, tried to pretend my headache wasn't there, and opened my eyes wide hoping to make myself not look tired. If they thought I looked tired they might be able to tell what I've been doing the past few months. I knocked three times on the door and waited. I couldn't hear anything from inside. If they don't come in sixty seconds, I'm leaving I thought. And I started counting. 1. . 2. . 3. . 4. .

"Hey." It was Two-Bit, lucky. He opened the door and I walked in. Even though this was the house where I grew up, I didn't make my way to the kitchen. I stood, waiting on Two-Bit to lead me to my family. I did follow him into the kitchen where my mom and Jean were chatting excitedly about something as they ate. They looked up when I came in and stood in the doorway. Two-Bit stood beside me. Maybe he knew that I didn't want to be alone right now. It took a second for my mother to realize that it was really me. And as soon as she did she got up quickly.

"Ryan! Oh, I haven't seen you in so long!" she said, and hugged me. I hugged her back, glad she hadn't turned away from me. Now, it was Jean's turn. Mom let go of me and I could see a few tears in her eyes. "Ryan, you said you'd be around. I haven't seen you since you moved out." I shrugged.

"Sorry, I've just been real busy." I said, holding her hands and smiling at her. She let go of my hands and went over to the cupboard, pulling out a plate and bringing it to the table. Jean still hadn't looked at me since I came in.

"Here. Sit. Eat." she said pulling out the chair at my place. I smiled and sat down, so did Two-Bit. Lucky Two-Bit was seated between Jean and me. Mom piled a heap of spaghetti on my plate and I dug in. My nerves were settling quickly. Though each time I looked up and saw Jean, the knot in my stomach tightened. I wanted to talk to her, really did. But I was scared. Not worried, scared.

We talked as we ate. Talked about everything and when mom asked about my job I told her "I've asked about gettin' a job at some places but they haven't replied to me yet." She seemed happy with that and didn't say anymore. Two-Bit was still cracking jokes and talking non-stop. As I sat there listening to one of his many stories I was actually amazed I'd lived with the guy for the last seventeen years. I don't know how his friends can stand all that talking. It must get him in a heap of trouble.

I didn't even try to talk to Jean while we, neither mom or Two-Bit noticed. But I waited until after dinner, Two-Bit, Jean and I were sitting around in the lounge room. We were getting on fine until Two-Bit announced he had to meet someone. Off he went and us two were left sitting in an awkward silence. I was trying to think of a way to get her to talk to me. Should I ask how her day was? Should I just say I'm sorry? But I did none of these things since Jean left the room. I sighed and went outside. It was a little cold outside but not so bad. I pulled out a cigarette and lit it up. While I sat there smoking I came up with a few things I could say to her. I'm sorry, How was your day or, well actually, they were the only things I thought to say.

When I finished my cigarette I went back inside. Mom was in the kitchen and jean was in her bedroom. I knocked on her door lightly. I heard her say 'Come in' and I went on in. I shut the door behind me before she could say anything, or even realize it was me. She looked up and then looked away, back to the book she was reading. I sat on her bed, right at the other end away from her before I spoke.

"Hey Jean. Look I gotta tell you somethin'. Uh, I'm sorry." I said. I imagined her to say 'Let's forget it ever happened.' But she said nothing along those lines.

"For what?" she asked and looked up at me. I didn't know what to say. Did she want me to admit that what I did was wrong? I finally found my voice and told her.

"I-I'm sorry for hitting you." I said. She raised her eyebrows like there was more to my story than that.

"Hitting me? Oh maybe trying to kill me would be more appropriate." she said. I rolled my eyes but stopped when I realized she was still staring at me. Waiting on me to say more.

"Trying to kill you? I wasn't tryna do that. It was just that you. . ."

"You what?" I couldn't finish my sentence. I don't have an excuse for doing it. But she was making me angry. Why didn't she just forgive me the first time I said sorry? There was an unfamiliar feeling inside me. Oh, I had felt this before, but not in awhile. It made me dig my nails into the palm of my hand and made me bite my lip. "Go on finish your sentence." she said.

"You were the only one around!" I said.

"What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean! You were the only one that I could do that to, the only one I could hit. And I know it's wrong. I'm so sorry." I said. She put her book down on the bed and played with a button on her shirt.

"So you think that 'cause I'm younger, you were allowed to do that? You're lucky I didn't tell mom!" she said. "Because I was going to."

"Well lucky you didn't then." I said.

"Y' know mom is just out there. . ." she said, a small smile on her face. That was it.

"Don't you dare tell any one." I said and hit her across the head. I took a deep breath when I realized what I did. No, this wasn't real was it? Jean held her hand to her head and wouldn't look at me. I stood up, I had to get out. "I didn't mean it." I whispered as I headed for the door. "See ya later." I said and walked out of her room. "I'll see ya later mom." I said as I walked past her on my way out of the house.

"You only just got here!" she called after me. I shoo my head as I opened the front door.

"Nah I gotta go, bye." I said and slammed the door shut behind me. I stood there a moment and took a few deep breaths. I can't believe I did it again. I actually did it. I came here to make it up to Jean but I'm making it worse. I can't believe -

"Hey Ryan, what ya doing?" I looked up as Two-Bit and Sodapop walked across the front yard over to me.

"Hey, I was uh just leaving." I said, wondering how long they had been watching me for.

"Well, we were gonna hang out at Soda's place. Wanna come?" Two-Bit asked. I looked at Soda but he was looking down the street. I shrugged.

"I guess that'd be alright." I said, Two-Bit went inside for a second, leaving me and Soda alone. Pretty awkward. . . And I begged Two-Bit to come back outside, which he soon did.

"C'mon." he said nodding towards the road. I followed behind them slowly for a moment before Two-Bit realized how slow I was walking and made a smart remark about it. The three of us walked in a line in the middle of the road. They were laughin' about something that had happened the night before. Both acting as if I wasn't even there. But I didn't mind. I just needed to get away from Jean and mom. I needed to forget that I had hit I'd go back and see her again.

We got to Soda's place quickly he only lived a few streets away. Before we got to his house I could hear the guys inside and the TV too. Just like it always is, I thought.


	4. Authors Note

Hi, I know I've sort of abandoned this story but I'm going to finish it. I'll probably post a new chapter each week.

Thanks.


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